moving on with life.

first of all, thank you for all your suggestions and advice from the previous post. i have been taking one step at a time and trying to soak up the wonderful moments that i have with friends, family and myself.

which brings us to . . . phase two: make myself a priority.

we all watch 'the biggest loser', yes? well throughout the seasons the most popular reason that the women blame on their weight gain is 'losing themselves'. i know that there are hundreds of thousands of mothers out there who can relate to that statement and although i have no children to blame, i can say that i have lost sight of myself and most importantly my health.

alas, that is no more!

the day after my last day at work aaron surprised me with an adventure and we headed out on the quest to find bicycles. both of us were really excited about the whole situation; finding a new way to travel that saved the enviroment and promoted our well-being. however, after looking through all the bike shops in utah county our discussion about our quest turned more into a challenge for the both of us to get healthy.

long story short; we have gym passes and i have a personal trainer. my first day with the trainer he asks me to warm up on the treadmill for 10 minutes. ok so, by minute five i was ready to quit. my heart was beating so fast and hard that i was sure that the dude running next to me could hear it, but it also could have been the heavy panting that made him look over at me quite a few times. overall those 10 minutes were an embarassment, but not as bad as what ensued. after i hopped of the treadmill i forgot about that feeling you get when you are walking on solid ground, you know that feeling like you are moving at lightening speed? well i walked with my lightening speed legs over to the weight section of the gym to meet my trainer who gave me two exercises. emphasis on the 'two'. mind you, before i even started these exercises my nose was running profusely and my heart was still beating out of my chest. so i do some sort of whimpy push up thing for 30 counts and then an ab exercise for about 15 counts and i stand up to catch my breath . . . aaaaand then abrubtly sit down. no lie, i thought that i was going to pass out, my vision didnt go completely black, but it was pretty dang spotty. on top of it all my nose would not stop running and so to make up for it i just tried snorting it back up so that i could continue with my workout. i was a vision impaired, snotty, exhasted, hot mess. i tried to play it off but the trainer knew better; he took me back over to his desk, handed me a box of tissues and concluded that i was a skinny-fat kid. lesson learned.


since that awful first day, things have gotten a million times better. i feel so good. i love the confidence that i gain as i push myself further and further. i love the challenge each morning of getting up and pushing myself to the gym and then the worn out feeling after i have completed the spin class. i love the energy that i have gained and the strength that i am continuing to build on.

here's to the fat kid in all of us!