getting somewhere.

finally.

i have finally lost some poundage. not in a "wow you look great" kinda way, but in a "the scale tells me so" kinda way. regardless i am really proud of myself. i have been working really, really hard and i know that i am the strongest i have ever been in my life. i am going to start posting my workouts and hopefully use the blogging world to find and provide encouragement for my struggle to look the way i really want to.

what do you guys do to make yourselves look the way you want?

a'muse'd

forgive the title, i really couldnt think of anything better and it really does fit because last monday aaron and i went to see muse in concert.

aaron got off work a little early, we drove through JCW's for burgers and headed to the e center in salt lake. both of us had been anticipating the concert since we heard they were coming, but didnt commit to buying tickets until a few days before so we were very, very elated about our purchase. aaron had seen muse live a few times by himself and i had seen them once on a date with another guy so it was time for us to share the life changing experience {if you have ever seen them live you will know what i mean} together.

it was a really great night. the show was fabulous {duh} and the company was fabulous {double duh}, but all in all i just re-realized how fabulous it is to be married to my very own rock star.



above is one of my all time favorites and classics from muse. i dont know why i allow myself to forget how good they are, but they are all that has been motivating me at the gym recently. so very good.

i lost touch

with this blogging world. and i dont even feel bad about it. it is a good thing when "real life" things catch up with you and you forget to open up your laptop and just word vomit all over the world wide web.

on top of it all i have writers block. all i can think about right now is how crabby i am {ever have those days?}. even listening to the smiths isn't inspiring any witty, thoughtful or clever banter, so i will just curtsy and say 'adieu'. {oh, and post a current picture taken by the ever fabulous Meredith Carlson. man that woman is talented}

looking forward.

staying at home and making my own schedule has made "hump day" aka wednesday, sort of irrelevant. however today has really made me look forward to the following things:

• spin class tonite and another tough workout with lindsay
• dessert with my cousin and her family this evening, who are visiting from out of town
• meeting my new personal trainer on the morrow and figuring out why i have gained six pounds since this whole fiasco began
• sunday. the only day that i have the husband to myself, sort of

what are YOU looking forward to?

apology.

i think i need to apologize for rambling on for the past little while in my posts. everyone knows that no one actually likes reading these things.

so, for your viewing pleasure, here are some images from the valentines day shoot that mere took for aaron and i!

on to . . .

phase three: inherit children

this may seem like a weird phase title, but it fully encompasses what has been filling my time recently. right after i quit i was lined up to watch my nieces and nephew for a week, and although it was tough going from zero kids to four in one week, i really had the time of my life.

the youngest is three and she was home with me all day while the older three were in school. we had many talks through the day about why she prefers the peels cut off of her apple slices and had a few melt downs due to her refusal to take a nap during the day. below are a few of the conversations we had with her that aaron and i still laugh about today:

- i was sitting at the kitchen table with her eating lunch together and i poured the contents of a diet coke into a glass filled with ice. after taking one sip and setting it down, she looked up at me like she longed for a sip of my drink, but then quickly remembered and shared that, "that drink is diarrhea for my bum" and then nodded her head in a matter of fact way.

you and about a million other people honey.

- aaron and i had to run an errand and so we left the older kids at home for a bit and took the youngest with us. in the car on the way she started talking like a robot saying things like, "dont laugh! i am a robit!" so aaron decided to play along with her and talked to her like a robot and everything that he said she mimicked. they were going back and forth for a while, aaron saying one thing and the youngest mimicking back, but then aaron got a genuis idea; her parents have been trying to potty train her and so while we were there we really tried to encourage the big girl attitude and get her to go in the potty. with that said aaron tried tricking her into saying what he said by saying in a robot voice "i am a big girl and i go in the potty!". without skipping a beat she called back to us, "i am a baby and i go in my diaper!"

it was worth a try right?

- she and i were sitting on the stairs watching the other kids run around the house and she just started making up stories to tell me. her: "there was a boy named Jesus Christ who died."
me: "thats right. do you know why?"
her: "because he got in a car wreck and then he had to get a wrap on his leg, so then he was ok."
me "oh really?!"
her: "ya, but his father was very sad."
me: "what is his fathers' name?"
her: "Heavenly Father. and he was very sad. and so was his sister."
me: "he has a sister? what is her name?"
her: "dora. and she got in the wreck too, but she was ok. she didnt need a wrap."
me: "well thats good, im glad that she is ok."
her: "ya, but Jesus Christ had to get a wrap, but he is going to be ok." *smiles and runs away.

at least she understands that Heavenly Father is Jesus Christ's father :)

i wish so badly that i could find a picture the above mentioned kids - they are so darling.

oh and then i got to watch this little munchin for a couple days.
i know your jealous. so many cute kids.

moving on with life.

first of all, thank you for all your suggestions and advice from the previous post. i have been taking one step at a time and trying to soak up the wonderful moments that i have with friends, family and myself.

which brings us to . . . phase two: make myself a priority.

we all watch 'the biggest loser', yes? well throughout the seasons the most popular reason that the women blame on their weight gain is 'losing themselves'. i know that there are hundreds of thousands of mothers out there who can relate to that statement and although i have no children to blame, i can say that i have lost sight of myself and most importantly my health.

alas, that is no more!

the day after my last day at work aaron surprised me with an adventure and we headed out on the quest to find bicycles. both of us were really excited about the whole situation; finding a new way to travel that saved the enviroment and promoted our well-being. however, after looking through all the bike shops in utah county our discussion about our quest turned more into a challenge for the both of us to get healthy.

long story short; we have gym passes and i have a personal trainer. my first day with the trainer he asks me to warm up on the treadmill for 10 minutes. ok so, by minute five i was ready to quit. my heart was beating so fast and hard that i was sure that the dude running next to me could hear it, but it also could have been the heavy panting that made him look over at me quite a few times. overall those 10 minutes were an embarassment, but not as bad as what ensued. after i hopped of the treadmill i forgot about that feeling you get when you are walking on solid ground, you know that feeling like you are moving at lightening speed? well i walked with my lightening speed legs over to the weight section of the gym to meet my trainer who gave me two exercises. emphasis on the 'two'. mind you, before i even started these exercises my nose was running profusely and my heart was still beating out of my chest. so i do some sort of whimpy push up thing for 30 counts and then an ab exercise for about 15 counts and i stand up to catch my breath . . . aaaaand then abrubtly sit down. no lie, i thought that i was going to pass out, my vision didnt go completely black, but it was pretty dang spotty. on top of it all my nose would not stop running and so to make up for it i just tried snorting it back up so that i could continue with my workout. i was a vision impaired, snotty, exhasted, hot mess. i tried to play it off but the trainer knew better; he took me back over to his desk, handed me a box of tissues and concluded that i was a skinny-fat kid. lesson learned.


since that awful first day, things have gotten a million times better. i feel so good. i love the confidence that i gain as i push myself further and further. i love the challenge each morning of getting up and pushing myself to the gym and then the worn out feeling after i have completed the spin class. i love the energy that i have gained and the strength that i am continuing to build on.

here's to the fat kid in all of us!

fa ra ra ra ra.

alright, i know it is uber late in the season to be posting these things but january just isn't that great anyways so i may as well.

i know that here in utah its not a huge deal if all of the homes are decorated for christmas,, in fact it is almost uncanny if your house is not donned for the season. however in a liberal state like oregon, the homes that are decorated for the holidays are far and few between. as kids we didnt have the luxury of just driving around our own neighborhood to gander at christmas lights so instead we ventured to peacock lane.

not going to lie, peacock lane is kind of a big deal. our family has been going there for years and who knows how many years prior to our arrival the tradition was running. needless to say this little street where on every home is decorated to the nines year after year has caught the attention of most oregonians. i wanted to show aaron what all of the fuss was about.

preview

just thought that i would give you all a little taste of our christmas break - finally got the time to upload the photos and although i might be a month late on posting i cant help but share.

above is what we like to call the christmas stashe': when the man of the house decides that while on vacation it would be wise to see how intense his upper lip hair can become. some days he looked debounaire and other days he looked like a dirty hispanic pedophile {excuse my language}, no big deal.

thats true love. and so is what is yet to come.

stay tuned.

monday, monday.

i did it. i actually did it, finally.

i quit my job.

i know what you are thinking, "how selfish and absurd for you to up and quit your job during these though economic times where so many have lost their jobs without any choice of their own" and believe me those thoughts have run through my mind as well. it has been a constant, inward struggle for me and, in my own defense, i do feel awfully selfish. but, there have been too many days and weeks where i would tell family and friends that i was done dealing and then the obligation monster would rear its ugly head and i just could not bring myself to throw in the towel. this very obligation to my job has gotten me to the point where i work too many hours of overtime and stretch myself in so many ways for people that could honestly care less about me. so, i am done with the internal torment and in turn i am feeling . . .

relief [ri-leef] - noun

1.	alleviation, ease, or deliverance through the removal of pain, distress, oppression, etc.

2.	a means or thing that relieves pain, distress, anxiety, etc.

3.	money, food, or other help given to those in poverty or need.

4.	something affording a pleasing change, as from monotony.

5.	release from a post of duty, as by the arrival of a substitute or replacement.

6.	the person or persons acting as replacement.

7.	the rescue of a besieged town, fort, etc., from an attacking force.

8.	the freeing of a closed space, as a tank or boiler, from more than a desirable amount of pressure or vacuum.

today would mark my last monday here if i didnt still feel obligated to this job or hadnt told my boss that i would help find and train my replacement. ahh well.

i am on the cusp of the days where i will be able to go to lunch with the mr., take walks during the weekdays, bask in the winter air and sleep in later than 7:30am. here i come selfish.

two cents.

ya know when a terrible accident occurs on the freeway and every driver slows down even though nothing is in their way because we all want to know what is going on and for some odd reason no one can take their eyes away although it looks so sad and painful?

this is what watching the bachelor is like for me - an ever so painful train wreck that i cannot bare to look away from.

in my opinion, the bachelor of choice this season is already painfully awkward, but when you add twenty-plus insecure, self absorbed, desperate women who all believe that their only chance to find "love" is through a nationally televised and edited series of three dates before a wedding proposal, you get the perfect combination of beauty and madness that is just too good to turn away from.

all who love the bachelor say "i"!

so fresh and so clean, clean.

the blogging hiatus has been accredited to the two week trip to portland and seattle, the lack of spare time in general since we have been home and the urge every time the mr. and i look at the blog to give this sucker a major face-lift.

alas, the new year has begun and in turn resolutions have ensued. so here is to our fresh start, you and i.

• take a walk every, single day
• re-vamp the blog
• study the scriptures nightly
• add to the etsy shop weekly
• eat more healthy i.e. stop eating out. period
• live on a tight budget and save
• stop biting my nails (for the millionth time)

i officially give myself the liberty to add to this list throughout the year. *dont those berries just look so fresh? yum.

so first,

let's catch up with the past few months.

aaron and i got the chance to visit priest lake, idaho with his family and although the trip marked the official end of summer, start of school and in turn cold weather, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

on the first afternoon in priest lake, joanna took us up to the lower rock slides.

mr mom taking easton on the ride of his life - both look like they are enjoying the father-son bonding.

the next day the weather cooled down and it proved the perfect opportunity to take the 3 hour hike up the wigwams. even at the halfway point i was getting nervous as to how high we were.

i have also become somewhat obsessed with our niece audrey who conked out a few minutes into the hike.

the view from the top was well worth me throwing out my hip and wheezing the whole way up. {old lady much?}

the day after our big hike, joanna's father took us all out on priest lake to explore.

it felt so refreshing to be back among green trees.

we had such a fantastic time chilling out on their dock eating, sitting in the hot tub laughing and shooting bb's from their fantastic deck.

thanks to jo and her fabulous family for a perfect weekend!

reality check.

i just watched this trailer for the upcoming movie 'the end of poverty'.

i dont know why it just sunk in, but i am extremely over privileged. the statistic that less than 5% of the earths population lives in the United States, but that the population here uses 25% of the earths resources, really hit me like a ton of bricks.

as an american citizen i feel that i have somehow lost the bigger picture - lost the selfless perspective and in many ways become very obtuse to the world that i live within. why do i feel like i deserve a vacation after a hard work week? why do i feel entitled to the privileges that i have been blessed with? why do i yearn for a new wardrobe when every new season approaches and when did brand names become so very important? when did i lose sight of what is really important in life?

i would like to turn a new leaf. try to somehow make a difference in this univserse and ensure that when i push over my dominos that they are affecting people in a positive way. enough with the posts about dreams and wishes - i would like to separate from those covetous desires that have overshadowed my real needs as a human being and focus on the extraordinary things that bring me joy. those non-materialistic, spiritual and emotional moments that we can all share as a population.

lets start today.

i would like to feature one story every week from you {my dear readers}. i want to hear about the extraordinary moments in your lives that bring you back to center. i want to hear about the moments that bring you happiness that did not require mula. i want you to share with each other those spiritual and emotional moments that have stuck with you and that upon their reflection have made you smile just at the thought. email me with your stories {kaytidan@gmail.com} and we will work together to make whatever small difference we can in each others lives.

shout out.

i need to give a shout out to my husband. my ridiculously handsome and tirelessly hardworking husband. if you didnt already know - the mr. is a real estate agent. not to mention that he is charming, funny, relentless, determined and a joy to work with.

if you are looking into buying or selling a home, or if you hear of someone that is looking to buy or sell a home i would like to request that you give the mr. a call. check out his website {here} or his blog {here} which are both updated regularly with new government offers and incentives and contact him to give you more information.

shout out to the great deals right now on the market and shout out to the husband that will help you find them!

true form.

this past weekend we were able to soak up these last few summer days in northern idaho. pictures will come soon of our adventures and memories of the trip, but i couldnt resist sharing this photo that i stole from joanna.

do we look hardcore or do we look hardcore? true love.

calling all culture.

for those of you who would like a little more culture in your lives, i am officially inviting you to come to the opera gala that my voice teacher is hosting next saturday september 12th at the franklin covey center in salt lake. *for more details, click on the poster above.

this is a big deal people. {no i am not singing} guests from the metroplitan opera and portland opera will be performing among many other members of well-known opera companies from around the country.

remember when -

- we had recess during the day?

my niece, who just went into 1st grade, told me last night that her favorite part of school is lunch time. she and i think alike. mind work gets old.

well folks - here's to the weekend!

flash back

recent conversations with lovers and friends have left me feeling jipped. jipped in the sense that i never got to see the 80's classic 'condorman' or the disney classic 'alice in wonderland'.

to reconcile these feelings the mr and myself have been taking a little walk down memory lane, catching up on old time favorites that i missed out on the first time around.

'the secret of nihm'. we learned so much watching this as adults - kinda funny comparing the emotions we felt watching this as kids.

'the rescurers down under'. i loved every minute of this movie - duh.
'labyrinth'. jim hensen is a master. and there are no words for david bowie.

next up on the list - 'ski patrol', 'condorman', 'alice in wonderland', 'furngully' and 'back to the future'. any suggestions - movies that completely made your childhood?

sock it to me

when i was younger i had a little obsession with socks. i would buy them every where that i went. the more unusual the better. *i bet the mr doesnt even know this.

i think that i might revive the obsession with these babies. notebook paper socks and pencil socks are MFEO {a high five to the first person that can name that movie reference}